Sunday, November 26, 2006

Hmm...

Would you do the right thing if you could?

Would you do the right thing if you should?

Would you do the right thing if you wanted to?

Would you do the right thing even if it feels as if your heart is being torn away?

Would you do the right thing?

Hmm...

I guess my answer to the above questions is a simple,"I don't know" in most cases. If someone were to ask me those questions, that would probably the way that I would answer them(if I were feeling honest that day! haha!)

Perhaps somethings are more or less certain. Certain in a way that that's the way things would turn out most of the time. Take for example, throwing you litter in the bin. Most people do it. Because it is "right". But you don't HAVE to do it. Now let's exagerate the scenario a little. If there's only one bin, and you have to step through mud and shit to throw your rubbish.(and none of that Hong Soon style throw rubbish from a far thing) Would you still do it?

What happens if the situation you are faced with is something infinitely more important than throwing your rubbish. Like sacrificing yourself to save the world or something.

It'd be easy to say that,"Oh, of course I would save the world. My life is incomparable to that of billions of people!" I mean, it seems the right thing to do, logically and morally speaking. But when the time comes, will you still be the person you think you are?

If at that point you choose not to save the world (probably cos you can't bear to part with someone or something), then what you have said would be false. Are you a liar then? Maybe. Or maybe you are just not the person you think you are. Then it would be pointless to ask the question of whether you would save the world.

Alternatively, if you were to choose to save the world. Great! You live up to your word. But then it would also be pointless to ask the question of whether you would do the right thing in the first place as well. Because regardless of what you choose to say before, the fact is you did choose to save the world. The confirmation of your character comes at the moment when you choose to sacrifice yourself. That's the point you know for sure. That's the point when you can say,"Yes! I chose to save the world!" Then again what's the point? You are already dead.

Perhaps there are somethings you can know for sure. I don't know. One thing I do know is that you have to keep questioning, keep asking,"what's the point?".(See, I'm contradicting myself) You may or may not have an answer. At the end of the day, it may not even be about "what's the point" or "will you or will you not".

Talking about questioning (just a short digression), is it good to be always questioning? I don't know if I had mentioned anything about balance before in my previous blogs. But wouldn't excessive questioning be tipping the balance? Are there somethings which you don't question?

Now back to the main topic. Perhaps the reason why people ask why is to seek some sort of confirmation. To know that at least there is such a possibility. The answer to the question being asked would serve to be some sort of confirmation. A negative answer might drive the person questioning to do some things or inquire further. A positive answer might serve as a form of foundation or hard ground to lay the person's heart at rest.

Questions and answers. Then more questions and more answers. Godel's theorem states that within a finite set, no truth can be fully captured.( I hope I quoted correctly) I doubt I will ever find answers to all of them. I hope to find the answers to at least some of them.

Hmm... (I put the "hmm..." here because 1) I am really "hmm"-ing. 2) I like abit of symmetry in my blogs. Shit now i gotta "hmm..." again to make things symmetrical!)

Hmm...

How do you know the people living around you are rich?

Let me tell you how to confirm that you are living in a rich neighbourhood...

When you see 2 of the latest Aston Martin bond cars parked along your street.

Porshes are nothing. You see one of them every few steps.

Ferraris are slightly better. You would probably see them once in a while.

The key lies in the Bond Cars...

TLB

TLB means To the Library and Back.

As the title suggests, I went to the library today. A rather uneventful day today I must say. Woke up at 1050h (for the free breakfast haha!) After which I finished watching "Fate Stay Night" before going to the library.

Did some work there. Not very productive. Not very unproductive either.

On my way back, met Joe. I must say, he made the trip back rather enjoyable. We had a nice chat. (Wait, I go bath first. BRB to continue.) We talk about quite a few things. Like how he disliked snow (cos he from lithuania) and how I would very much like to see snow. Like how he should cut down on drinking. Like how good whiskey tastes(he had his first taste recently. and he loved it!). Haha!

When I reached home, Clint called me to ask when are we cooking. We then had sweet sour chicken and some unknown english vegetable for dinner. After dinner, I slacked around before blogging. Which is what I am doing now.

Maybe gonna watch Pirates of the Carribean 2 later. See how.

So that's all folks. That's how I spent my sunday. The same way that I wrote this blog. BORING.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

It's here...

Finally, my Eurostar tickets to Paris are here!

Will be going to Paris this Dec. Spending my first European Christmas and New Year there.

Oh yes, another thing. I'm going alone.

Haha! I know many of you will be like,"What the hell!!!!" But I've always wanted to try something like this. Now, I am going to fulfil my wish.

Looking forward to the whole 8 days of absolute freedom. (From another perspective, it could well be a whole 8 days of boredom too. Haha! cannot think like that. Stay positive!) Going on the 24th which is christmas eve. Don't sleep, wait for christmas day. Coming back on the 1st day of 2007! 31st dec also don't sleep. Wait for 2007. On top of that, quite looking forward to taking Eurostar. Afterall its like a 200 mile train across English channel leh.

Just to let you guys know. I have no qualms about travelling alone. Besides all the Sings going to ski trip. So no one to go with me liao. Haha!

I could well have joined the ski trip. But then again, why should I? When I could get to see the world from MY point of view. Just do what I like, when I like. Free and easy.

Perhaps some of you may have noticed that the term "free and easy" has come up quite a number of times in my blog recently. Don't worry. I am not descending into reclusion and isolation. I am not afraid of walking alone (at least that's what I think now. perhaps life will prove me wrong later...), but I do not actively seek to be alone. Neither do I want to be alone. Companionship is important. But life's not about having someone to go somewhere or do something with you all the time. Somethings you have to do alone,(Of course travelling don't have to do alone lah. But I just want to explore.) and I hope that when the time comes I will have the courage to walk down the path.

Sometimes you just gotta step out of your comfort zone. See what life throws at you. See what you are pushed to do, what you can do, what you have to do. Most importantly, see whether you are the kind of person you think you are. Can you still hold on to your beliefs in hard times?

If you run out of money in a foreign land, what are you gonna do? Will you be resourceful enough? On a lighter note, what if you are bored out of your life when you are abroad? No one to talk to, no one to share your joys and sadness? Will you go further into your cave? Or will you step out and talk to someone?

This trip is not just a holiday trip for me, I guess. It's also a form of training, if I may put it that way. Acutally, more accurately I should call it self-discovery. I know, I know it sounds abit "self-help-ish" but that's what I think.

The only thing that feels abit of a downer is that I'm not going with a girl. Haha! I mean it's Paris for Christ's sake. Eiffel Tower and all. Romantic sia. But hey, who knows? Maybe I won't be alone. Imagine meeting the girl of your life in a city like Paris. Can't get better than that right?

Ooh, I can't wait to go!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Let's put things into perspective

Time, 2:40am, 18/11/06. Place, Imperial College Willis Jackson House.

Just finished my lab report. Sure took a long time. It's not exactly done yet because I still got to read through it and see if there are any ammendments needed.

It's getting cold here. Finished my beer while doing my report. Just had a couple of shots of Jenever, something I bought in Brugge. It really isn't working very well, just 20% alcohol. Gotta get my hands on some whiskey. Haha!

A bit paiseh to have to go to Han for his Green Label. Haha!!!

Before I talk about anything else, a little something on Jenever. I got the one with a lemon flavour. Taste quite ok as long as you just run it over your tongue once and swallow it. It lacks abit of texture and richness. Taste is definitely NOT as full bodied as Greenie. But its a good light drink. Wait, wait, stomach starting to feel abit warm liao. Good good.

Now to what I really want to talk about. This is something that I thought of while I was back at hall eating lunch. Incidentally this is the first time I cooked my lunch in the hall on a weekday! What I had was black bean sauce chicken with instant noodles. Haha!

Black bean is a sort of fermented bean. So while I was eating it, i thought of the response of westerners to asian fermented stuff like salted fish or something. Then I thought of us. Not just as asians but also as Singaporeans.

As Singaporeans, we grew up with a mixed contact with Western and Eastern culture. When we see the "ang mohs" go all gaga over asian stuff we say that they are "sua ku". When we say asian people become all excited over western stuff, we say that they are "sua ku" too! Now, what does that make us?

We've never been in a culture absolutely dominated by a single source or school of thought if you could call it that way. So we will never understand the "exoticness" of things from different cultures. Just like the way that lukewarm water only has minimal temperature change regardless of whether you mix it with hot water or cold water.

So are we superior? Are we less "sua ku"? Are we not "sua ku" too if we cannot understand the way they feel?

Can anyone be expected to understand the feelings of anyone or everyone?

I think it is inevitable that we do not understand all that is going around us. The only thing we can do is to put in our best efforts to see things in different perspective.

That's the way with science, as in you can never know whether a theory is true. You can only know that it hasn't been falsified YET.

That's the way with life too. You can only try your best. Whether that's enough is not up to you to decide.

Such things are easy to say isn't it? Yes I agree. But what is your alternative? To close your eyes, mind and heart? To tell yourself that the "other" peoples are all "sua kus" just like how Aristotle maintained that the Earth was the centre of the Universe? You can do that I suppose.

Haha! That's the way things are isn't it? Always in 2 ways. Sometimes I even think that this form of 2 way thinking is quite counterproductive. (At this point, I notice my arguments have sort of gone into a loop, so I shall leave it as it is now.)

Alright, fourth shot down! Time to sleep.

Time, 3:12am, 18/11/06. Place, Imperial College Willis Jackson Hall.

Friday, November 17, 2006

How are you guys doing?

To all my friends studying uni in Singapore.

You guys having exams right? Hope everything is going good for you guys
.

All the best!!

字不醉人,人自醉 8

无言独上西楼,月如钩。
寂寞梧桐深院锁清秋。

剪不断,理还乱,是离愁。
别是一般滋味在心头。

~~《相见欢》李后主

字不醉人,人自醉 7

春花秋月何时了,往事知多少。
小楼昨夜又东风,故国不堪回首月明中。

雕栏玉砌应犹在,只是朱颜改。
问君能有几多愁,恰似一江春水向东流。

~~《虞美人》李后主

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

What happened?

Work is starting to pile up recently. All of a sudden I have assessed problem sheets, seminar write-ups and lab reports popping up all over the place.

Don't even have time to do my own stuff like read notes, textbook, storybook and most importantly play snooker. Sian.

Writing my FIRST lab report, really quite lost since I am not too sure what they want and what they look for. Sure, they give us handouts detailing the key features of lab reports. But I am not too sure how much that helps. I think it really depends on the person marking your report too.

Next on the list is my seminar write up. I am supposed to do this summary, actually not summary, a write-up is more accurate. They gave us an article to give us and idea of what we are supposed to write about. So if it were a summary all I need to do is to read the damn article. But no, it's a write up so you gotta read up from other sources and present your write up in a generalistic way. I mean I am fine with this. What makes this write up so hard to do is that of all fields of science, it had to be about ASTROPHYSICS! I know nuts about it. Not even the most basic things. Then I have to read research articles by professional scientists where they talk about VLBA, interferometry, luminosities of stars, milli-arsec, kilo-parsec, blah blah blah. I don't understand like 90% of what I read. Keep falling asleep reading those research papers. I believe it would have been better if it were about Quantum Mechanics or something. But astrophysics is a little too much.

Monday, November 13, 2006

New Cue

Tested my new cue yesterday.

Better than I had expected. The XS shaft delivered, I would say.

Perhaps it's due to the thick tip, the hit had a "smothered" feel to it. Spin was ok.

Still need more time to fully acclimatise to it though. Cos the hit is fuller and not as whippy as my Viking F90. The weight, balance and length also slightly different from what I am used to.

That being said, it is immeasurably better than the house cues provided in the snooker room.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

知音难觅

常言道:“人生得一知己, 死而无憾。” 说得一点也不假。

当了解自己的人都不在身边时,往事却历历在目。人生里到底能有几个真正了解自己的“他”或“她”?

畅所欲言,随心所欲的互动是多么难得,多么可贵。

曾经在一个很远很远的地方,我有这种感觉。如今身在繁华闹市,是否能寻回这种感觉?我不知道。

是太难了解吗?是不愿了解吗?

是我不了解吗?

人生路本来就是一条只能往前走却只能看得到过往的路。我们永远都无法知道以后的事。也许能做的就只有努力的活。

也许想太多亦无用。

难道不想一切就能明朗吗?

思绪,剪不断,理还乱。

A cause for celebration!

This 50th post is to celebrate the 50th post of this blog!!!

Friday, November 10, 2006

LSE

LSE stands for Losing Streak Ended, NOT LONDON SCH OF ECONOMICS.

For the past two weeks, I have lost 2 league matches. Really bearing down on my confidence level man.


I mean, even though the league preliminary rounds are played by best of 2 frames, doesn't mean i gotta lose 2 out of 2 right?

My first opponent was stronger than I was, this I admit. My second opponent I should have been able to manage a draw, but I didn't. Played like shit that day.

Today was different. I found my balance and played good. Good by my own standards, not as in the "GOOD" kind of good.

Probably the only regret is that I did not play with my new cue. My cue arrived in my hands only after I had finished my match.

Never mind. Practice a bit with my new cue and get ready for the next league match!

Time to get serious

Finally, my snooker cue is here.

Not exactly top of the line. Sort of like a beginner cue. But it will suffice for now.

It's a 57 inch ash cue. Shaft is XS shaft. 9.5 mm tip. 18oz. Endorsed by Ronnie O'Sullivan. Wood and decal splicing at the butt.

Bought this cue mainly for the XS shaft. Since I could not find decent cue shops in central London, the XS shaft provides some guarantee for quality when I buy over E bay.

Normally I would never buy a cue online but I don't have much choice.

From now on, I can have a stable platform for practice liao. Yeah! Time to get serious and up my game!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

字不醉人,人自醉 6

江南好,
风景旧曾谙。
日出江花红胜火,
春来江水绿如蓝。
 能不忆江南。

~~《忆江南》 白居易

What a small world.

Clinton was in my room a moment ago. He saw the farewell gift from my JC class that I pinned up on the wall.

As he was scanning the picture looking for chio girls, he noticed someone. That someone was Eugene (a.k.a Daoye).

Not that he thought Eugene was chio. But Clinton was actually classmates
with Eugene back in their Chinese High days.

What a coincidence.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

至理名言 9

学如逆水行舟,
不进则退!

Hammersmith, Campden, Regent's Park, Trafalgar Square (Pics)


In Regent's Park

Stables Market!!!!

Trafalgar's Square

Fountain in Regent's Park

THE Campden Market

We are not alone in our "fine" practices!

Old Tube Station near Campden

Singaporean prices!!!!!!

Hammersmith, Campden, Regent's Park, Trafalgar Square

Went around London last saturday. Alone. Voluntarily. Haha!

First stop, Hammersmith. Took 211 outside Sainsbury Local all the way to the terminal. Quite a nice place. Quiet small town-"ish". Went there because Kenneth and gang recommended a place called Primark. Basically Primark is a place where they sell clothes cheap. Quite ok. I mean if u are a shopper then its quite good. When I reached, I did not know where Primark was. Thought of calling Kenneth. But WTH. Just walk la.

Next, took bus 27 from the terminal to Campden Market. It's a one hour journey which is why its worth it since all bus rides costs 80p. Along the way took quite a few photos. When I reached there, the place was bursting with life and crowded with people. It was good. There I found the 99p shop which Kenneth say I will buy alot of things. In the end I came out empty handed since the 99p shop did not have anything interesting except for everyday stuff at Singapore prices. Haha!

So, I was looking for a place to have lunch. Before that I went into MacDonald's to use the toilet. (when in need, look for MacDonald's! Haha!) Just as I was about to continue on my journey, I saw someone. A beautiful waitress. I thought to myself,"Hmm. You don't get to see this everyday..." That's how I found a place to have lunch.

Back to Campden. Basically, its a huge place selling all sorts of stuff. There is the Campden Market and Stables Market and Campden Canal Market in the vicinity. There is really alot to see. Mostly clothes and T-shirts with nice logos. One of them was like this," F_CK. Now all I need is U" Almost bought that one. But the T-shirt quality not too good.

After a while at Campden, I was getting ready to head to my next stop, Trafalgar's Square. I was hoping to reach there early enough to catch the demonstration to urge the government to act against climate change. Then I checked my map and I saw Regent's Park. So I thought," why take the bus when u can walk?" FYI, getting to Trafalgar's Square would mean crossing central London. I enjoyed the walk thoroughly. Went through Regent's Park. It was beautiful and relaxing. Along the way to Trafalgar's Square, I walked and took photos. Stopping when I like, turning into an alley when I like, free and easy.

By the time I got there the demonstration had ended. Sian. So I went into the National Art Gallery to have a look around. It was good too. I especially liked the Massacre of the Innocents and Samson and Dellilah by Peter Paul Rubens, I think. I also liked the way the description card next to the painting tells you the story behind the painting and not just who is the painter (like in the case of Victoria and Albert Museum).

Overall, I think travelling alone is different but certainly enjoyable, not boring. The day was well-spent.

Friday, November 03, 2006

字不醉人,人自醉 5

横看成岭侧成峰,
远近高低各不同,
不识庐山真面目,
只缘身在此山中。

~~《题西林壁》苏轼

至理名言 8

人不知而不蕴,
不亦君子乎。

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Will you believe?

Just watch the Lakehouse by Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. Enjoyed it alot.

Can't comment about the acting cos I don't really have an eye for such things. I thought it was good.

What I liked about it is the concept of the whole movie and the warm atmosphere that is smeared lightly with bitterness it creates. I was truly captivated.

Time, an insurmountable barrier that no one can touch and see but everyone believes in it. What if, just what if, you can reach out and touch someone that you can never see or touch. Climb over the wall that all your life you thought that would never be climbed?

The fates of the protagonists were intertwined even before they met, before they know they will meet maybe even before time itself. From the start they were not meant to be, not meant to meet and definitely not meant to fall so deeply in love. But somehow they did. By the magical workings of a mailbox outside the Lakehouse where the paths of Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock inevitably crossed each other.

It started as an innocent letter to the new tenant of the Lakehouse which ended up in the hands of the old owner, not in present time but 2 years before. These 2 people found support and understanding in each other. Perhaps it is behind the mask of time and letters that they freely allow themselves to open up to each other. Perhaps only by this way is it "meant to be".

The movie is filled with scenes where Keanu Reeves from 2 years before tried to make his presence known to Sandra Bullock. But she did not know who he was. While in the present time, love has always been there for Sandra Bullock even though she did not know it.

Maybe that happens to us all the time. Although not in such an exagerated manner, perhaps what we are looking for has been there all the while. Quite a comforting thing to know isn't it? To be able to tell yourself that maybe, just maybe, around the next corner is the love of your life. (That's why I always walk so fast! Haha!)


But I am sure that at this point, you guys have picked up on the problem of such a relationship. Time and space. The fact is that they don't really know each other in their own time. How are they to meet? How are they to physically feel each other's presence? How are you to love a person who "isn't there"?

In order for them to each other, they would have to "know" each other for 2 years then wait for each other for 2 years. It's a time thing. Some of you might ask why don't they just wait? Simple enough.

Actually, they "met" each other right at the start of the movie. Keanu Reeves died in an accident and Sandra Bullock was the doctor on the scene. So in fact, Sandra Bullock was talking to a man who is supposed to be dead. If that's the case, how are they to ever meet?

Moreover, given that the thing they had between them might never work out, does it make sense to wait? Would an average person wait? They could not have seen what was coming even though they were given the extraordinary gift to transcend time to reach each other.

I won't tell you the ending or anymore about the movie cos I think I have said more than enough. For those intending to watch the movie perhaps you could think more about what is behind the apparent plot.

I've heard people tell me how the plot does not make sense and how the story is too lovey dovey, etc. Actually in hindsight, I do agree that the plot does not make much physical sense. (hey gimme a break! I'm a physicist!) Well, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

Frankyly speaking, the loopholes of the plot don't matter to me at all. It does not change what the movie said to me.

When what you have in front of you is an impossibility, will you continue to take another step forward? Will you throw out your logic? Will you step out of your comfort zone? Will you wait? Will you believe?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Just stuff...

I was looking at the farewell gift I got from my JC class before I left for UK.

On it is a photo of my JC class together at the pond in NJC. We were all smiling so happily. A picture does say a thousand words.

Then I saw people like pig, soon, wywy, daoye and sye. You know, the main gang.

I still remember how in the first three months we all banded together. Cos we are all 短裤帮. Haha! All of us were in shorts. (RV, Chinese High and Catholic High. Haha!)

How time flies...

We all have friends that we knew before we knew each other.(i.e we were not each others' longest friends) However, we seem to know each other so well and have such a connection between us. Perhaps it's because of all the outrageous things that we did together. I guess the experience we had is not one common among others (not even for most people similar to our age).

Even 2 years of NS, when we spent alot of time apart, didn't affect us much.

Time really doesn't matter when it comes to knowing someone. Does it?

I always believe that it is fate that brought us together, so closely. That's why this is the group of friends I miss most. In front of them, I am who I am. They are who they are.

人生的一知己, 方且死而无憾。更何况是一群值得依赖,肝胆相照的伙伴。