Here I Am

I've been wanting to write this blog entry for days already. Didn't have the chance because I had no internet access.

Everything is impressed on my mind so clearly. I guess I will never be able to forget these few days.

I felt so reluctant to leave behind the family and friends so dear to me. Such a feeling really hit me hard during the last few days before leaving for the UK. It was there and then that I finally realized that I would not be able to see them for a long time.

Everything seems so surreal. Even when I was on the plane. Somehow I just couldn't believe that I had just taken a life changing step. With such ease, such calm. Now, alone in my room listening to Soon's CD(after a shot of Green Label. Haha!!), I think of the people dear to me again.

I will miss all my family members and friends.

Family, of course, is because we are related by blood. We are one unit, not a group. So to leave is somewhat like pulling a part of your body further away from its centre. It hurts. 血农于水，说的一点也没错。

My parents came along to help me settle down. They tried to do as much as possible for me. Carrying my luggage, cleaning up my room, buying rice and groceries and scouting out the best eating places. Sometimes the more they do such things, the more I feel that I owe them too much.

体肢发肤受之父母。百行孝为先。How can I expect them to do anymore for me, especially when I have done nothing for them? Besides I've got to learn to be independent sooner or later. What's the point of taking such care of me?

Of course this is the point of view of an errant son. I have come to realised that to my parents, taking care of me is the most natural thing in the world. So what to do? I reject them, they feel as if they fail in their duties as parents. I take them for granted, I am a 不孝子. The only thing I can do is to take in what they have to give with utmost gratitude and make sure that I repay them as much as possible. (What I owe them, I can never repay fully.)

I guess this is something that many people knows how to say. But you really have to experience it to fully understand. The weight of what you owe them is immense. 恩重如山literally. Of course I don't mean this in a pessimistic way. Sometimes this can be a powerful source of motivation.

Next is friends. Oh god, FRIENDS. What wonderful a wonderful concept of human civilization. We share beautiful moments, fun times, bad experiences; we fall on each other in times of needs and lift each other on our shoulders to reach greater heights.

I will miss ALL my friends. But these are groups I spent much time and shared much with.

The Main Gang
Eugene, Waishan, Kok Ping, Sye Chung, Hong Soon.

All the stupid things. From an idiot BBall CPT to Disipline Mistresses. From "lap sap" bars to bars. From Krystallers to Geraldines. From birthday presents to condoms. From slacking in a pub to puking outside MOS. From driving around for food to driving around at 4 a.m to go home.

We've done it all.

Dance People
Jerry, Hongda, Candy, Seok, Caichang, Zhihao, Zhiwei, Huixiang, Yanying, Eleanor, Shiyin, Huifang, Enlin and who can forget the Huang Su Zheng Laos.

Dance, I must say, has really been life changing. It's one of those things that you do and you know that you would be a totally different person if you hadn't done it. I can easily foresee myself mugging and playing computer games 24/7 if I hadn't danced.

Dance opened up a whole new world for me. And I am glad that I had wonderful people to share this experience with me.

This concludes PART ONE.

Be back after the break...